Secrets to Long Lasting Healthy Love, According to Relationship Experts
Being in love and being married are two different things. Falling in love really feels exciting no matter where you met – at a party or through dating sites. You’ll daydream about your partner; have sex, sex, and more sex that makes your bond even stronger. First 18 months or even 3 years, you don’t ask yourself if long lasting love exists. You simply don’t care about that.
But sooner or later, you’ll find yourself in a situation where your satisfaction from the partnership goes down, and the boredom settles in. Lots of surveys show that the married couple still feels happier than unmarried ones. So how to stay on the married side and reawaken the excitement of the intense romantic love?
Take Your Love Goggles Off
Hormones and affection of your love story's first months can hold you from pinpointing some differences between you and your partner. And it’s a normal thing. But that can be critical for long lasting love.
It’s easy to love someone who is very similar to you and has the same way of life or values and the same tastes. But what if you’ll differ? How do you go about it? Experts offer to be conscious about similar and different traits between you and your loved one. Understanding and accepting that someone can prefer a quiet evening instead of a noisy party will deepen the intimacy you have. The ability to be heard and acknowledged is critical for a secure and happy partnership.
Manage a Conflict Like a PRO
Sustaining long lasting love means you'll face conflicts. Shift your perception of a conflict; use it as a way to find out how to love each other better. More often than not, quarrels arise during challenging times – accumulated distress, small kids you care of, or problems at work can become a trigger.
A piece of advice from Bianca Acevedo, PhD, a researcher from the University of California, is to find a peaceful time to discuss your fight's underlying reasons. These may be a sense of loneliness, feeling of being uncared or exhausted either in you or your partner. Find them and take steps to deal with them.
Save Space for the Spark
According to psychologist Esther Perel, too much neediness can take away the eroticism from your sexual life in a long-term couple-hood. Take a step from your partner to create some space between you to bring the spark back. Balancing dependency and indecency in a relationship will help sustain passion. And you’ll have a chance to experience what long lasting love feels like if you add novelty to your marriage.
Married or not, dating or just met – you’ll still need to invest your time and effort to make it work. Good thing that love and relationships are well-researched. So, you may use the advice from this post or apply your own ideas that help you and your partner feel satisfied and carry on.
What helps you to sustain long lasting love? How long are you in a relationship? Please share with us in the comments.
Guest Author Bio: Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.